The 16 days of action campaign team have been supported by real survivors of domestic abuse from within Defence to help spread awareness that this is something that affects our people, and to champion their voices in sharing their experiences so that people can understand through this first-hand insight. This story focuses on one individuals ‘tipping point’ that led them to seek support.
I once read that someone may experience around 35 incidents of domestic abuse before reporting it, or seeking support.
That may sound like a lot to those who have not experienced domestic abuse in their lives. To those who have, it may not sound like very many.
I have slowly come to realise that everyone has their own individual tipping point. For some, that may be just one incident, once; for others it will be one incident, after many years.
The very act of seeking support is important in its own right. It also takes bravery and courage to stay on that journey when you may feel pulled to go back to what you have known before.
Seeking support is personal. Support can come in various forms. Telling a work colleague, a friend, a family member, or a complete stranger. If you have safe access to the Internet, it could be Googling support services. If you have safe access to the phone, it could be calling the Police or the Samaritans.
Support may mean something different for every one of us. It may take on different forms at different stages. It may be for a short period of time, or ongoing over many months or years.
After 10 years, my tipping point was another injury to one of my children. But it took months before a reasonably familiar occurrence of abuse triggered something different in me. I called the Police. They made a referral to a Safer charity support worker. Through the Army Welfare Service, I was then put in touch with the team at Aurora New Dawn.
Two years later, my support journey with my children continues. Each day is a journey.
If I could reach out and say anything to you, I would just say please talk to someone – anyone – so that you do not feel alone. Making ourselves vulnerable enough to talk about things can be so frightening, but being listened to and being heard is the very first step.
